The Hollosphere

I totally love Gmail, but after migrating to Gmail from Outlook use a few years ago, I had a painful realization that I would have to do without my handy Outlook signature feature. I had used it extensively for years, customizing signatures for personal and business uses.

Gmail’s own signature feature is either on or off, and only one signature can be saved. Argh.

Firefox add ons to the rescue! Clippings by Alex Eng solved the problem. With this add on, I can save multiple signatures and choose from them on the fly by simply right-clicking in the Gmail message. Sweet! Although there is less formatting flexibility than Outlook, I’m mostly over it. Phew.

I made quiche. Oh yeah, baby. Sage sausage, spinach, onion, mushrooms, and cheeses. I line the bottom of the pie plate with cheese to make a kind of crust. I had extra egg mixture, so I tossed some more cheese and some red bell pepper into a smaller plate for a plain quiche. Mmmmmm! Don’t you wish you were here to eat some?!

In other news, the deer herd was frolicking about on the hill behind our house, chasing each other around and generally making a ruckus. Cute little buggers. There was even a young buck with a couple of points. He better watch out–I think deer season is here! One small one was especially charming, doing the four-legged bouncy-hop thing all over the place. It was pretty much a Disney movie up there.

I’m on a number of mailing lists of NVC providers, publishers, and organizations. Lately, I’ve been noticing that my idea of the consciousness of NVC isn’t always matched by what I’m reading. The following is an excerpt from an newsletter that I read, which shall remain unnamed:

Focus on Needs
Stay focused on needs/values. (Have a needs list available for people to reference.) People can more readily accept and value what’s being said when needs are clearly stated.

It’s easier to warm up to the statement “The way this case was handled didn’t meet my needs for fairness and equality and I’m wondering if you’re willing to explore with me how it might be handled differently in future” than the statement “I was treated unfairly and that’s unacceptable.”

The author is giving a suggestion for how to speak in a more connecting way. I had an “ick” reaction to it instantly, feeling at first annoyance. Obviously my own judge and jury were on duty, there. Then I felt sadness and discouragement as I realized I have a longing for a deeper, more meaningful shift in consciousness so we all might live in more harmony and peace.

What I read above is our same old habitual thinking cloaked a new formula for talking. This is an example of my least favorite form of expressing needs: “That doesn’t meet my need for…” which sounds to me like a vague demand, and is a form that also usually has some criticism wrapped up in it. In the above I hear a statement that, while less obviously ouchy than the original statement, is outwardly directed and still rooted in judgment.

Figuring out what to say instead of “that’s unacceptable,” or whatever, without addressing the thinking that underlies the urge to say such a thing won’t get us far in nurturing a connection. It’s an inside job, as the saying goes. If I’m having a story that I was treated unfairly, just finding a new way to say, “Hey, you’re treating me unfairly” won’t help me release my moralistic judgment (they did something that was unfair) and make a heart connection with another human being. I might take some of the sting out of my statement so they freak out a little less, but I will not get to the yummy place of joyful collaboration.

I’m wondering if people experience some small relief from that little shift in their language. If they find a new way to speak that stings less, perhaps they will be willing to accept the results of mild de-escalation as success. “Hey, they didn’t freak out on me nearly so much! Cool!”

I don’t want us to stop there. I don’t even want us to start there. The yummiest, most connecting, transformative shifts I’ve experienced are shifts in consciousness and thinking. When I’m free of judgment, moralism, blame, attachment, etc., I don’t have to practice how to talk. My words will flow naturally in a way that illustrates my intention and focus on serving life.

Conal, his mom Ann, and I had a stimulating discussion last evening about spirituality, war, the impact of affluence, violence, carpeting, what to call our work, and about a hundred other topics. While we were talking about the new dimensions of political folly with regard to Iran, Conal remembered one of his favorite quotes:

If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart? ~Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Having enemies makes things simple. You find them. You kill them. You live happily ever after. Problem is, war, assassination, and violence have never, ever worked to nurture lasting peace. We keep acting as if we can just find all the enemies and eliminate them, then all will be well. Sh’yeah. As if.

Continue reading ‘The Elusive Evil Ones’ »

What would my awesome Aunt Jeanne have done in the era of blogs? Medicine Wheel Blog? The Spotted Chicken Report online? That would have been so cool! Her humorous short stories, interviews, and wonderful drawings would have made for a terrific blog. Perhaps she’s at it up in heaven…

Here’s a bit of her humor I found online on an old, apparently outdated Methow Valley News page. It’s dang hot here today, and I like being reminded that it will get cold again and perhaps lead to… duh duh duh DUM! Cabin fever–aaaaaaaugh!

Are you suffering from cabin fever?

In 1984, the late MVNews columnist Jeanne Hardy described a few signs and symptoms concerning cabin fever for a supplement to the paper entitled the Country Side Magazine. They are appropriate today as they were back then.

1. You absentmindedly nibble your favorite houseplant.
2. The soles of your feet are fuzzy and slightly numb and you can no longer separate your toes.
3. You burst into tears at the sight of a snowflake.
4. Your alarm clock goes off one morning and you flatten it with your table lamp.
5. You’ve eaten 14 oranges in the last 10 hours.
6. You realize you’re talking to yourself in a language you don’t understand.
7. There’s a knock at your door and you scream.
8. You realize you’ve been staring into the refrigerator for three days.
9. The phone rings. You pick it up and say, “Goodbye?”
10. A neighbor discovers you holding, and singing to, a bag of potting soil.

Heh. I sure loved her stuff. Anyone find anymore of Jeanne’s writing on the net?

Wow, this blogging stuff is rather absorbing. I’ve spent I don’t know how many hours today perusing and experimenting with WordPress themes, plugins, and widgets.

I enjoyed playing with some theme designs on this template generator page. Another source of interesting toys was mashable.com’s WordPress God article, which lists 300+ tools for use with your blog, including categorized plugins and themes by style. Googling blog themes and plugins returns a dizzying array of information and toys to try. I’m far from becoming a WordPress God, but am enjoying learning about the possibilities.

Don’t be alarmed if whilst reviewing this blog it suddenly undergoes massive visual changes. You didn’t break the site! It’s just me messing around again with the look and feel of the pages. There are hundreds if not thousands of themes available, and I can’t resist trying a bunch of ‘em.

I’m impressed with how much energy and creativity goes into blogging. Some folks make an interesting career of it, I see.

A thought came to me lying abed last week, early early early in the morning when I really ought to have been sleeping. I do some of my most creative thinking in the wee hours (why is that, anyway?). I’ve been wanting to write about it ever since, and hey, that’s what a blog is for, yes?

The thought I had was this: As long as we see another person’s or group’s actions as “wrong,” we can never truly be collaborators with them. The best we can hope for is cooperation based on fear of punishment.

So what the heck am I talking about? I’m passionate about the evolution of consciousness, and I think our culture’s fixation on the idea of right and wrong is one of the core causes of suffering in our world. When things go awry, we habitually seek outside ourselves for who or what is to blame, and when we find the “guilty” party, we energetically pursue what we call justice. By which we mean punishment.

The roots of this habit are deep and complex. One of the main roots is the very structure of our relationships. Ours is a societal system defined by hierarchy, an all-pervasive power-over structure wherein those in authority define the rules and everyone else follows the rules and are rewarded accordingly, or break the rules and suffer punishment. I say all-pervasive, because hierarchical structures are a part of virtually every aspect of our lives. Our families, workplaces, churches, clubs and associations, our governments, and even relations between nations are infused with hierarchical structures. Someone is the boss, at every level.

Punishment can be carried out by our official justice system, in cases where the rule being broken is one of those our society leaders have written down. Or punishment can be a result of societal pressure around one of our culture’s myriad unwritten rules, resulting in anything from mild embarrassment to ostracism.

Continue reading ‘The Toe-stomping Dance of Right and Wrong’ »

Hi! I’m Holly. Welcome to my blog. I have no idea what I’m doing here, but I’m sure I’ll catch on eventually. Meanwhile, thanks for stopping by. Here’s a picture of my new friend.

I think I should have a contest to name him. Any ideas?

I have a blog! Imagine that. Below is the text of a newsy email that I shared with a few family members. Now I shall share it with the WORLD! Bwahahahaha…

(from an 8/26 email) In going through boxes of books yesterday (there seems to be an unending supply down in the garage–are the deers dropping off more when I’m not looking?), I came across Jeanne’s little Medicine Wheel Journal book. Of course, I immediately had to sit down and read it cover to cover, straight through. I was cracking up and enjoying how much like Twisp Murray Creek is. I took the book over to Ann, thinking she might enjoy reading it.

It’s wonderfully cool here this week, in the mid-80’s. Pretty much perfect, with a nice breeze coming up the valley. The air moving through the oaks in the distance sounds like water flowing. Perhaps a harbinger of the creek’s resurrection! Woo hoo! For now, it is still dry, dry, dry, but the cool is a wonderful relief. We did have another fire in San Andreas day before yesterday. It was not our fault. Actually, although we had quite a bit of smoke and some falling ash in our area, it was a relatively small fire–60 acres–and our intrepid fire fighters had it out that same afternoon. Phew. Ann saw the smoke initially, driving home from a visit to a friend, and then Conal and I went to town to find out more information about it. It was about three miles from us, I’d guess. We just happened to be downwind. All is well now. I LOVE the fire department. Must make a mental note to take them cookies or something.

Yesterday morning, I went out in the living room and discovered that the front door was wide open, including the screen door. There was a breakfast sausage wrapper lying just in front of the door on the porch. Hmm. Nothing else seemed amiss or out of place when I looked around out there. When I turned around to go into the kitchen, however, I could see that we had had a visitor. A sizeable visitor. A large bag of garbage that I had consolidated from various trash cans around the house and placed in the pantry awaiting disposition to the outside can was in the middle of the dining room floor. Well, what was left of it. It had been chewed and various of its contents strewn around the back hallway and dining room. S/he had shunned the goat cheese, but apparently enjoyed licking and chewing anything fish or meat flavored.

Yeeks. Possum? Racoon? Tiger? Abominable snowman?

Continue reading ‘Hello world!’ »

I live in a small town in the Sierra Nevada foothills a couple of hours east of the Bay Area. My sweetie Conal Elliott and I live on twenty acres in a hillside house overlooking a lovely forested canyon with a creek. Our place is about three miles from town up a skinny dirt road. The area is known as Murray Creek. Remote? Mm-hmm, a bit. The electrical line terminates at our panel; beyond us, no electricity and no phones! Our house at night is like a ship on the vast, dark ocean, floating in utter darkness. Conal’s mom, Ann, lives on the sixty acre family property next door. The air is clear, the oaks wonderfully old and twisted, the weather hot in summer and cool and wet in winter. Deer stroll by daily. A possum raided the kitchen the other day. There are a ridiculous number of stars visible at night–at least, when the moon isn’t hogging the show. It’s pretty darn cool place to be.

I am interested in the evolution of consciousness in human beings, in art, music, cars, vegetarian/veganism, chainsaws, language, ballroom dancing, salsa dance, learning, social and cultural evolution, vegetarian cooking, technology, singing, country life, blogging, animals (especially horses and cats), relationships, emotions, spirituality… so much to think and write about. I’m also interested in finding out what it’s like to live in the country, which is lucky, since I live in the country.

I’ve started this blog in order to work out some thoughts, share pictures, and point out fun stuff I find on the web. I think. We’ll see what actually pans out…

• Want to read more about me? Visit my website, HollyC.com.
• Interested in my work with Conal? Check out AwakeningCompassion.com.
• Still want more?! Slake your thirst for all things Holly at LinkedIn and/or Facebook.
• Wanna get in touch? Email me at holly [dot] croydon [at] gmail [dot] com. Usual formatting.

I may expand this profile eventually. For now, I’m still kickin’ the tires on this blog thingy. I’m sure having a good time. Feedback is appreciated. I’d love to hear from you.