Comments on: Sounds like NVC, must be NVC …? http://hollosphere.com/posts/sounds-like-nvc-must-be-nvc/ Holly's ideas, journaling, and who knows what all else Wed, 08 Apr 2026 16:31:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Ray Taylor http://hollosphere.com/posts/sounds-like-nvc-must-be-nvc/#comment-222 Ray Taylor Thu, 09 Dec 2010 21:27:10 +0000 http://hollyc.com/hollosphere/?p=11#comment-222 Hi Holly and Emma, Emma said: > Do you have any recommendations for how to learn or remember NVC consciousness itself rather than just the wording/tools? There are several things that I and others have found helpful: * www.focusing.org - compassion to your own feelings through felt sense * mindfulness - check out Thich Nhat Hanh * despair work - www.joannamacy.net * mother's and children - body links of hope www.biospiritual.org Ray Hi Holly and Emma,

Emma said:

> Do you have any recommendations for how to learn or remember NVC consciousness itself rather than just the wording/tools?

There are several things that I and others have found helpful:

* http://www.focusing.org - compassion to your own feelings through felt sense

* mindfulness - check out Thich Nhat Hanh

* despair work - http://www.joannamacy.net

* mother’s and children - body links of hope http://www.biospiritual.org

Ray

]]> By: Niklas http://hollosphere.com/posts/sounds-like-nvc-must-be-nvc/#comment-50 Niklas Mon, 10 Mar 2008 08:40:47 +0000 http://hollyc.com/hollosphere/?p=11#comment-50 I'm relieved to read this and also a bit surprised. Maybe I assumed it to be clear, that the "juice" doesn't come from the words but the intention. And like in many other things I do, focusing on the intention rather than on the instrument lets everything sort of fall into place. So I find myself in what you write, Holly. The last workshop I had with Marshall Rosenberg, he made very clear that the most important thing to him is intention, not communication style or wording. Apart from that I'm aware of some trainers who would not consider "fairness" as a need. They might call it "extrinsic" rather than "intrinsic", since it is still based on the moralistic idea of what IS fair and what isn't and by that demanding a certain kind of behavior from others which makes any deviation from that difficult to accept and connect to. Behind this "need" for fairness I sense a need for understanding and space to talk things out. Inclusion might be another name for it. And by connecting to this need, the person who has it might come up easily with something that he/she could do to meet it right now. That would help a lot to be open to what can be done about it now. And not earlier. I find it important that NVC is really used for transformation and liberation - not for repressing the pain that is caused by judgemental and seperating thinking and not for manipulating others into meeting one's needs. Like you said, the juice isn't flowing that way. I’m relieved to read this and also a bit surprised. Maybe I assumed it to be clear, that the “juice” doesn’t come from the words but the intention. And like in many other things I do, focusing on the intention rather than on the instrument lets everything sort of fall into place. So I find myself in what you write, Holly.

The last workshop I had with Marshall Rosenberg, he made very clear that the most important thing to him is intention, not communication style or wording. Apart from that I’m aware of some trainers who would not consider “fairness” as a need. They might call it “extrinsic” rather than “intrinsic”, since it is still based on the moralistic idea of what IS fair and what isn’t and by that demanding a certain kind of behavior from others which makes any deviation from that difficult to accept and connect to. Behind this “need” for fairness I sense a need for understanding and space to talk things out. Inclusion might be another name for it. And by connecting to this need, the person who has it might come up easily with something that he/she could do to meet it right now. That would help a lot to be open to what can be done about it now. And not earlier.

I find it important that NVC is really used for transformation and liberation - not for repressing the pain that is caused by judgemental and seperating thinking and not for manipulating others into meeting one’s needs. Like you said, the juice isn’t flowing that way.

]]> By: The Hollosphere » Blog Archive » Connecting with NVC Consciousness: It’s Not in the Words http://hollosphere.com/posts/sounds-like-nvc-must-be-nvc/#comment-45 The Hollosphere » Blog Archive » Connecting with NVC Consciousness: It’s Not in the Words Sat, 01 Mar 2008 02:53:22 +0000 http://hollyc.com/hollosphere/?p=11#comment-45 [...] appreciate Emma’s comment and question to my post, “Sounds like NVC, Must be NVC …?” Emma expresses frustration at how easy it can be to find oneself simply masking old, [...] […] appreciate Emma’s comment and question to my post, “Sounds like NVC, Must be NVC …?” Emma expresses frustration at how easy it can be to find oneself simply masking old, […]

]]> By: Holly http://hollosphere.com/posts/sounds-like-nvc-must-be-nvc/#comment-20 Holly Sun, 03 Feb 2008 18:08:51 +0000 http://hollyc.com/hollosphere/?p=11#comment-20 Emma, I appreciate and was so inspired by your comment that I responded with another post, called <a href="http://hollosphere.com/?p=56" rel="nofollow">"Connecting with NVC Consciousness: It's Not in the Words."</a> Emma, I appreciate and was so inspired by your comment that I responded with another post, called “Connecting with NVC Consciousness: It’s Not in the Words.”

]]> By: cheekyboots · non-violence in grubby little pieces http://hollosphere.com/posts/sounds-like-nvc-must-be-nvc/#comment-19 cheekyboots · non-violence in grubby little pieces Sat, 02 Feb 2008 11:26:24 +0000 http://hollyc.com/hollosphere/?p=11#comment-19 [...] stumbled across this article about how NVC-like speech with non-NVC motives is not much better and misses all the juiciness of [...] […] stumbled across this article about how NVC-like speech with non-NVC motives is not much better and misses all the juiciness of […]

]]> By: Emma McCreary http://hollosphere.com/posts/sounds-like-nvc-must-be-nvc/#comment-18 Emma McCreary Sat, 02 Feb 2008 10:34:42 +0000 http://hollyc.com/hollosphere/?p=11#comment-18 Hello, I resonate with your post. I am often frustrated as a student of NVC. I don't want to just learn a new way of saying the same judgmental/closed off things. I want to really change my consciousness, because I think my words will naturally flow when I'm in NVC, and when I'm not in NVC consciousness, then I'll just be using NVC-language in an essentially violent way. I've found myself doing that a lot and I feel frustrated. I want to do the juicy connected real stuff, but I can't always access it. I try, and I come up with NVC language but not NVC consciousness and so it doesn't help. I find a lot of the teaching is focused on the language and wording rather than the consciousness. But it feels like such a radical shift to how I was trained to believe I'd get my needs met that just having the language doesn't necessarily shift my instincts for violence. Do you have any recommendations for how to learn or remember NVC consciousness itself rather than just the wording/tools? Hello,
I resonate with your post. I am often frustrated as a student of NVC. I don’t want to just learn a new way of saying the same judgmental/closed off things. I want to really change my consciousness, because I think my words will naturally flow when I’m in NVC, and when I’m not in NVC consciousness, then I’ll just be using NVC-language in an essentially violent way. I’ve found myself doing that a lot and I feel frustrated. I want to do the juicy connected real stuff, but I can’t always access it. I try, and I come up with NVC language but not NVC consciousness and so it doesn’t help.

I find a lot of the teaching is focused on the language and wording rather than the consciousness. But it feels like such a radical shift to how I was trained to believe I’d get my needs met that just having the language doesn’t necessarily shift my instincts for violence.

Do you have any recommendations for how to learn or remember NVC consciousness itself rather than just the wording/tools?

]]> By: NVC Evolves » Blog Archive » Vague demands and “honesty” http://hollosphere.com/posts/sounds-like-nvc-must-be-nvc/#comment-2 NVC Evolves » Blog Archive » Vague demands and “honesty” Thu, 06 Sep 2007 05:07:24 +0000 http://hollyc.com/hollosphere/?p=11#comment-2 [...] at an IIT. My partner Holly had more to say about these issues today in a post called “Sounds like NVC, must be NVC …?” I recommend her [...] […] at an IIT. My partner Holly had more to say about these issues today in a post called “Sounds like NVC, must be NVC …?” I recommend her […]

]]>